Once upon a time in my freshman year of college, I was eyeballs deep in the middle of a heavy study session with my peers. The few of us buried in coursework, made no sounds except for the occasional rustling of a textbook page or the click clack of a keyboard. Then out of the silence, with as much fervor as she had confusion, my friend blurted out “What’s Beyoncé doing on Friday?!” The stillness was shattered and everyone’s eyes turned to her as she searched their faces for an answer. One by one she looked to each of us and found nothing. We were all puzzled. Why did she want to know? Why couldn’t she find out herself? What was Bey doing on Friday? These questions plagued us for a good chunk of the night, but answers never came. Then almost a year to the day, Beyoncé did something on a Thursday. BEYONCÉ. The self-titled album dropped silently in the night like a drone strike leaving the music industry and critics’ year end list of 2013 in shambles.
Two years after BEYONCÉ and the Beyhive is buzzing with anticipation. Last week Beyoncé released a teaser video for a new project premiering on HBO on Saturday the 23rd. Beyoncé was merciful this time around, giving her fans seven days and seven nights to gather themselves and their loved ones for the LEMONADE era of Queen B. So now it is I who must ask the question so long ago pondered on a December night in Cleveland, “What’s doing on Saturday?” I think I have a few ideas.
She’s releasing another visual album.
If I had to put my money on anything, it would be that Beyoncé was probably putting out a new visual album. It’s been more than two years since her last and we are more than due. Given the clips that were previewed in the trailer all signs to point to this.
It’s the most likely scenario, thus the one I’m least interested in discussing. Moving on.
She’s premiering in her own movie.
One of the only things Queen Bey has yet to conquer is the world of Film of Television. If there’s one crack in her armor, it’s acting. From Austin Powers to Dreamgirls to Cadillac Records the acting thing has never clicked in the way she wants it to. That’s why we haven’t seen her in a film in almost 7 years.
As a singer with the stage presence she has it’s hard to look at her as playing anything but Beyoncé (which is probably why she plays a singer in 95% of her roles). But what if LEMONADE is her final attempt at becoming a true triple threat? HBO usually plays blockbusters on Saturday and what if this is no different. Think about it. Beyoncé stars as a struggling housewife/entrepreneur, selling her home-made LEMONADE.
She’s doing a Game of Thrones Preview Show.
HBO Now has been emailing me constantly about their plans this weekend. (I’ve already RSVP’d to sit on couch all weekend HBO, you can relax) HBO IS TAKING OVER THIS WEEKEND they say. And with LEMONADE on Saturday and the premiere of Game of Thrones on Sunday this might very well be the case. It is my inkling to believe that these two events are related more than by networks. What if LEMONADE is really an hour long pre-show to the next evening’s festivities? Hear me out, I know some would say “Beyoncé would never waste her time promoting another show” to which I would counter, how do you know? Do you know Beyoncé personally? No? Then kindly sit back down.
The general public knows only two things about Beyoncé. One, her Instagram photos will NEVER have captions and two, she can do whatever she wants. And what’s bolder, what more Beyoncé than having millions of people tune in, just to watch you talk about the geopolitical climate of Slaver’s Bay, or the circulating rumors of Thoros of Myr being spotted on set? (Lady Stoneheart anyone? Anyone?) Regardless, this might be my favorite possibility for Saturday night. If only to see The Ringers’ Chris Ryan and Andy Greenwald (hosts of After the Thrones) discuss Westerosi history with our reality’s mother of dragons.
She’s appearing in Jurassic World.
As the great investigative journalist that I am (read, not) it was up to me to do more sleuthing. I went to my TV Guide on my cable to see if it could help me with a small blurb of what LEMONADE could be. Instead I found, at 9pm on HBO (channel 501 of Time Warner Cable local listings) none other than Jurassic World, that other big movie that Chris Pratt was in.
It would be no stretch of the imagination to assume that Bey had her team retroactively place her in the lead of role of this summer blockbuster. Can you imagine Beyoncé on a motorcycle chasing velociraptors? I do, every waking day. She could also give advice to Bryce Dallas Howard’s character—what wigs and hair pieces are right for her, how to properly run in heels. The duo they would make could surely spice up a sequel, at the very least.
Beyoncé is joining Danity Kane
Yeah, not even I can bring myself to write this. Danity Kane was a girl band created by Diddy. They had a single called Lemonade. It’s as dumb as it sounds.